Saturday, December 15, 2012

NRA would like to desperately try to remind you that other things can kill people as well

After the horrific mass shooting in Newtown, Connecticut on Friday the 14th of December the familiar worldwide outcry was heard calling for greater levels of gun control in America. Of course this is a veritable political hot potato as this view is traditionally only shared by the sane and those who can see a direct statistical correlation between gun related deaths and the number of available guns - and of course this is a view strictly opposed by the National Rifle Association (NRA).

The unfortunate deaths dominated social media during the evening following the shooting, with many NRA members speaking out to defend their (constitutionally defended) way of life.

Members of the NRA were quick to launch themselves onto social media to do exactly that - many of them reminding the general public that cigarettes, alcohol and cars are themselves the cause of many fatalities in the United States.

"People seem to forget that cigarettes are perfectly legal and kill hundreds of thousands of people per year", blogged Henry W. Hellokitty. "and it is just as easy to die from cigarettes as it would be to meet your maker at the hands of a Sig Sauer semi-automatic rifle that typically use 5.56mm NATO rounds, although the bullets are derived from .223 Remington bullets. And weighs 7.8 pounds for the SIG556 HOLO, wheras the SIG556 Classic weighs 8.2 pounds. 8.2 gorgeous, gorgeous pounds. Gunnnnssssssss".

"Why doesn't the Government just ban cars?", asks blogger Jason Stationclock, "They kill billions of people a year. If I'd driven my 4x4 into the school and navigated around the narrow corridors, I could easily kill a great many people. If I wanted to. Which I don't. That's what guns are for. Lovely semi-automatic and automatic guns. Mmmmmm......"

Various desperate bloggers have also cited heart attacks, falling pianos and masonry, tiger attacks, broken sunbeds, rollercoasters and poison as causes of fatalities throughout American history. All of which remain unbanned and uncontrolled. Except poison. Perhaps.

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