Thursday, January 24, 2008

Get to fuck is universal balance restored

I get to work from home a fair bit so am kept entertained by the daily televisual output provided for students and the unemployed. Amongst the adverts for stairlifts (which are the only ones that provide any interest, due to the fact one would be damned handy) are the standard assortment of adverts for those "had three accidents? Why not consolidate all your accidents into one easy-to-manage accident" sharks.

This one ( caught my eye more than many and is evidence of an increasing trend of these adverts to make you think that claiming will in some way help the world. No longer is it sufficient to sue people just for personal gain but now you can ease your conscience safe in the knowledge that you've made the world that little bit better.

"Yeah, I sued that driver for fifteen grand but thats beside the point. They've moved the crossing so the lives of countless kiddywinks have been saved."

"Yeah, I sued my employer for twenty grand but thats not why I did it. Despite the fact I fell over because of this fucking stupid fringe I have, they've now moved the paper bin and put a big fuck off neon sign on it."

..which leads me to the youtube link provided for your convenience above. Now by claiming for what is rightfully yours, you are bringing order to the universe. Chaos and disorder be damned - you getting money in your pocket at somebody elses expense is now the cosmically right thing to do.

Your place in Heaven is assured...and who is advertising it? Billy Murray, well known for playing a gangster on Eastenders. At least that part of the advertising is accurate, at least.

For those of you with a short attention span, I'm consolidating all the words in the above thread into a single easy-to-manage affordable word which is this; Wankers. You won't have to pay a penny to read that word and you are guaranteed every penny of compensation.

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