I AM THE WINNER OF EUROVISION

Saturday night saw the climax of my birthday week, The Eurovision Song Contest Final. As ever, I had a party for this occasion and demanded that attendees brought food and/or drink from one of the participating countries. I had fully intended to make biscotti but these plans had been hampered by going to the pub and watching the FA cup final and drinking booze instead. HURRAH. (I won £2 due to Man City beating Stoke).

We took the decision to have the do at Tom’s house because they have more room for the vast number of internerds, Eurovision geeks and other assorted people with nothing better to do on a Saturday night. Only problem was, Tom doesn’t have a television – well, more precisely, he stopped paying his TV licence . Eventually we managed to stream it through iplayer (with it turned up to 11) and away we went. I had decorated Tom’s house and television with pictures of previous winners (Abba, Bucks Fizz and Johnny Logan) and the previous presenter, the legendary Terry Wogan.

I had also created some scorecards and we did a sweepstake with the entry fee being 50p. As there were loads of countries left, we each got another go, some people even had three goes. No wonder gambling is so addictive..

We settled down to watch the show; well I say watch, the slag off the outfits and the songs and write our comments on our score cards (sample comment from Jonathan – GAY SHIT 0 points) I will collect the funniest and best comments from all the score cards and post them on my own blog at some point in the future. Promise.

The food selection was pretty great; mini pizzas, baklava made by David, salami, mini Cornish pasties, chocolate madeleines, Swedish meatballs made by Tom (alas not Regular Swedish Meal Times style), my friend Terry brought a pizza and a potato, my mammy brought some Wexford cheese and a smaller potato (There’s a famine on or something), and boozes from all over Europe, including some very exciting buffalo vodka courtesy of the lovely Dwayne.

My own personal favourite song was Rockefeller Street by Estonia, followed by So Lucky (or as I kept shouting GHOSTBUSTERS!) by Moldova and Caroban by Serbia. I found the UK entry to be fairly dull, although interestingly gave the UK it’s best finish for years, let us never forget the Jemini debacle… but most surprisingly of all, I found myself cheering for the retarded double take brothers, Jedward. In the scoring rounds, whenever Ireland got points, I cheered and when the UK got points, everyone else cheered. Even mammy, who is an actual proper Irish, HATES Jedward. I was on my own (well Dwayne cheered but only cos he had them in the sweepstake). I like to think it was the amount of beer that made me want them to do well. Yes, that’s it. That’s definitely it.

The eventual winners were Azabaijan; guess who had them in the sweepstake? And I’m going to say now, yes they’re not ACTUAL Europe, but it isn’t about actual Europe, it’s to do with satellites and television stations more than the continent. I will set up a link to the comments extravaganza page from my own blog as soon as I get round to it.

I would dearly love to go to Eurovision one day. Anyone up for Azabaijan next year? I’ll supply the biscotti*.

*may not be true