Wednesday, March 02, 2011

This post has been brought to you by... typing.

If you've caught any news recently (brought to you by ITN) or, for some inexplicable reason, caught a glimpse of a Nescafe Dolce Gusto coffee machine over Phil Vickerys shoulder when you were cruelly subjecting yourself to This Morning (which cost Nescafe a lofty £100k - think of all the baby milk you could get with that), you can't help but have noticed that television has changed a little bit.

Realising the huge potential for profit, Ofcom have relaxed the rules for product placement for UK TV shows - Advertisers are now able to get their products clearly seen on screen; all singing, all dancing, all.. erm.. coffee makerying.

Of course this practice has been going on for years but through means way more underhanded and subtle - take for instance the regular appearances of the Jaguar II in Morse. Now it's all out there, with said programs forced to show the new profit Product Placement logo if they choose to take this path - a big ominous P. Much like that had by a cystitis sufferer. And let's face it - every series of the X Factor has just been one huge blob of product placement, lining Simon Cowells pockets. Albeit with one where the product is human misery.

No more will patrons of the Rovers Return be restricted solely to the limited selection of beers produced by Newton and Ridley - now they'll be able to order a Budweiser as well. If they were fucking stupid. Bettys hotpot will be replaced by Ginsters pasties and Kevs garage will become a Kwik-fit franchise.

This new allowance of course applies to all commercial channels only - it will continue to be banned for BBC shows, whose product placement, of course, is harshly restricted to allowing overpaid and overrated composers to promote their new musicals over the course of an entire series of shows. This at least means we don't have to worry about Doctor Who turning to camera and clearly showing the 'Philips' logo on his sonic screwdriver.

As I lean comfortably back in my Klemens Ikea Swivel chair sipping on this Red Mountain Medium Roast coffee, you, my loyal readers, of this blog (typed out carefully on my HP Compaq Desktop PC and Sony Bravia television currently being used as the biggest fuck-off monitor of all time) can rest assured that it will not fall foul to such corruption.I for one will not tow the corporate line and take the advertisers foul pound.This blog shall remain ever alert, and ever ad-free.

Now, for another coffee.  I have a strong craving for Nescafe.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love comments. Love 'em. However, abusive or spam or Anonymous ones may well be sent straight to the bin. Thems the rules.