Wednesday, September 22, 2010

A tiny ginger ball of rage

Recently unearthed documents have revealed the existence of a top secret government project which was finally either abandoned or completed in 1979, the document is unclear as to which.  The experiment (codenamed "Red Anger") was to create a lifeform entirely fuelled by rage.  Despite the great risk to my own life, but in the interests of letting the truth be out, I can reveal to you the startling content of one of these documents.

What turns out to be the most terrifying element of all, as witnessed by the events in my house last night, is that I appear to be sharing a home (and most horrifying of all, am shortly to marry) the secret abandoned experiment known as "Red Anger".  The matrix of rage was previously straightforward to define, but yesterday this anger took a worrying step - a hatred of certain types of furnishings.

See the below diagram, constructed with the aid of top scientists, for the main sources of Rage for "Red Anger", or as the experiment shall be referred to henceforth, "Tara".  You will observe the appearance of a newly emerged "Rage Fuel"; I.e. the humble Sofa.

Becoming so enraged yesterday by a sofa, she physically attacked one.  However, the sofa had been previously trained in several martial arts techniques and emerged from the skirmish unharmed.  However, Red Anger had a suspected broken finger and a trip to the walk in centre followed by A&E (which turned out to be superficial damage, although uncovered evidence of a previously unknown fracture).

Now even humble soft furnishings are not safe.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.


  1. :/ I think you're being very unfair to Red Rage. I know there have been several occasions when I've wanted to abuse a sofa. They can be infuriating!


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