Monday, April 20, 2009

Pointless bloody remakes

I am currently annoying myself by watching Quarantine. For those of you who don't know, it's one of those Blair Witch style steadicam films (much like Cloverfield, that film that I quite liked but everybody else seemed to hate) done in a psuedo-documentary style. It's not the handheld stuff thats upsetting me though - in fact if anything that aspect of it is very well done - it's the fact that it's a remake of a far superior film called [REC]. The amazing thing is that [REC] was made way back in the depths of 2007 - a whole two years ago.

I knew I'd be annoyed by it but watched it out of grim curiosity, hoping that the plot might be slightly different - It's not, though. So far it's almost shot-by-shot identical. So, this begs the question "What is the point?"

[REC] is spanish in origin, and subtitled throughout. Are people that loathe to read subtitles that they'd rather watch an inferior copy of something? Does anybody out there really notice that subtitles are even there after the first couple of minutes?

Another excellent film shortly to be released over here - you may have seen the adverts on TV - is the beautiful and haunting vampire film Let The Right One In which must be one of the best films I've seen in the last decade. This one is also being remade in Hollywood - It's less than a year old. It beggars belief.

Anybody who would rather see a shoddy remade made so that stupid illiterate people can read it deserves all they get. Perhaps we'll hit a stage in history where Hollywood can remake a film while the original is still being made - maybe even release it a little sooner. I've already started plans to try and get my remake of Transformers 2 ready before the end of next week - to make it more appealing I'm going to make the explosions even bigger and have a large breasted supermodel explain whats happening in the story so far in a childish voice whilst jumping on a huge trampoline. On the top of a building. Which is made out of robots. Which is on fire. And in space.

Go and watch [REC] and Let The Right One In and restore my ever dwindling faith in humanity. Fucks sake.


  1. I agree completely. What I was astounded at is I watched Chakushin Ari, which was an average at best Japanese horror film. I heard there was a Western remake, 'One Missed Call', which I watched in the hopes it would be a superior film, 'cos the original could have been much better.
    It was TERRIBLE. I mean Caddyshack IV: Caddies In Space terrible.
    I've yet to see a western remake which had any merit, let alone be worth watching. Unless you count The Magnificent Seven as a remake. Which it isn't.

  2. seeing let the right one in tomorrow. fight the good fight!


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