Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Far From Vital Statistics

I bloody love statistics, me. I like the fact that they can literally be about anything, from the average number of nostril hairs in adult males aged between 36 – 48, the number of kittens you could comfortably allow in your room before you exploded from sheer squeedom, all the way up to how many bones I could break if I rammed your idiotic face straight into that wall.

Occasionally here in Chez FoldsFive (which is actually what it's called, which is why I don’t get nearly as much post as I used to) I like to sit in my drawing room, sleeping Labrador on my lap with a freshly lit pipe stuffed to the gills with Black Stoker tobacco and a glass of Balvenie 21 year old Port wood finish Speyside Whisky, and smile happily to myself over the statistics gathered by this very blog.

Typically I spend a good twenty minutes guffawing loudly to myself – occasionally waking my Labrador Belvedere – over how if you squint, the readership graph vaguely resembles the opening credits of the Rainbow TV series from the nineteen seventies.

Look! It does! I shit you not...
..but it's nice to see that it is gradually creeping upwards over time to be roughly double the traffic that it had in the early days.  That first big peak?  Thats May 2009 when I can't really find anything out of the ordinary I'd posted to demand those stats.  The second whopper from June 2011? This.

The vast majority of you come here directly (I'd really like to think you've bookmarked me and hang off my every word) but a good quarter of you have arrived here from a reddit piece about one of the Star Wars Animated GIFs. A small chunk of you come here via facebook.

Odds are you're from the UK, but visitors from the Good Ol' U.S. of America are catching up with you rapidly. A few Canadians, French, Germans and Australians pop in as well.

You're almost definitely viewing this on Windows and then most likely through Firefox. Windows OS users outnumber the Mac lot almost 3 to 1, but regarding browsers it's much more tight. Internet Explorer and Chrome are definitely snapping at the heels of the Firefox lot.

Those of you who found this place quite by chance by searching for something via a search engine, It's probably quite likely you did so searching for either information on Poplar Trees or Jeremy Clarkson. Or maybe you're of the 109 people who found your way here by typing 'Geordie Shore tits' into Google.. But I do hope not. I'd like to think the FoldsFive readership are of a higher calibre than that.

So, there we have it. An exciting collection of numbers to thrill and amaze. And an appropriate juncture for me to thank you for reading my blog and knowing that there are actual real people out there who read it. And more to the point, keep coming back. Even if its just to see if I've done anything ranty and sweary and beneath me. And thanks to the friends of the blog (you know who you are, you gorgeous, sexy people) who comment on it and share it - That's what keeps me writing.

All the very best! Love, cuddles n stuff
David

2 comments:

  1. I am disappointed. You didn't write 'fuck' once *sadly wanders off*

    ReplyDelete
  2. FUCK. There we are, a special one just for you :)

    ReplyDelete

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