Thursday, November 15, 2012
Government far from surprised at lack of interest about something you knew little about
Police and Crime Commisioners will make and influence key decisions that will impact on how your local area looks and feels, and we're more than aware that that sentence is one that says much and means actually very little.
In the Polling Station we attended we managed to interview some (in fact, all) of the voters and gain their valuable opinions on what they think about these elections and their potential impact on policing as a whole.
"I have no idea what you're talking about", said Mrs. Barbara Malpractice-Hedgefund, "I only came in asking if anybody had any change for the laundrette".
Father of three Daniel Caramac seemed all for the scheme, "I, like many of my friends, am dead set against crime. I think the position of PCC is a perfect opportunity to add yet another level of pointless bureaucracy to an already complex job - I can't think of anybody better placed to control police budgetary constraints than a local business man who owns and has watched an entire box set of 'Dixon of Dock Green'"
Local student Michael Jewelcase saw great potential for the scheme. "Gary Oldman was great in the first three, but if they're going to reboot the series they'll definitely need some fresh blood. I'd like to see somebody like the vastly underrated Michael Biehn play Commissioner James Gordon."
A bored looking Government spokesman was quoted as saying that "We are far from surprised at the complete amount of voter apathy about voting for somebody you've never heard of for some vague position that we never asked you whether you wanted one anyway. Now stop bothering me - We've got a BBC to destroy - bwahahahahahahaha".
Early results indicate that the likely winner for most if not all areas is a crudely drawn spunking cock, despite it not being an apparent candidate for the position.