Monday, August 12, 2013

New from FoldsFive Android labs - ReminDre v1.00a

"Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say
But nothing comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish
And motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dre"
Forgot About Dre - Dr. Dre feat. Eminem
We've all been there - that already awkward social situation ruined when it suddenly dawns on you that you've forgotten about Dre.

Detailed research has shown that Dr. Dre omittance and/or neglect is one of the primary causes of all life's ills (including but not exclusive to war, famine, disease and general shenanigans) and up until now it's been something that modern civilisation has simply had to live with.

Well, thanks to the innovative development team at FoldsFive Android laboratories, Dre forgetfulness has now been banished to the annals of history. Simply install ReminDre v1.00 on your Android mobile device and instantly reap the benefits.

You'll simply have to spend a few minutes entering in your personal details and then - as if by magic - a sophisticated algorithm will use a combination of your biorhythms, bank account details, listening in on your personal conversations and internet history to work out precisely when you need reminding about Dre. The timings may seem random, but it is in fact way more complex than you can possibly imagine.

"It's okay, boss, I think I'm ready to do that important business presentation now. I've been reminded about Dre."
 A photograph of Dre will appear from an almost limitless selection* and your brain will be instantly reminded about Dre, a memory that - dependent on your current levels of cerebral activity and potential surrounding distractions - could last up to several trouble-free and happy minutes.

The free trial version will last up to two months or 150 reminders about Dre, whichever comes first. The premium version will permit infinite reminders and will also on occasion provide you with an exciting fact about Dr. Dre. For example, did you know that the real name of Dr. Dre is Andre Young? Or that he invented Badminton?

So, don't delay. And more important - Don't forget about Dre. Which you need never do again - NWA**

* 8 photographs, 1 of which is the same as the first one but reversed. And one of the them might not even be Dr. Dre because it's quite a poor quality photograph.
** Not with Android

From the development team that brought you the Flava Flav oversized desktop clock, the Snoop Doggy Dog dog whistle and The Public Enemy Public Anemone Aquarium.

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