The Router Hell is paved with good intentions

Dear Mr. Richard Branston,

This isn't the first letter I've written to you - you might remember the incident with your brand of pickle and my ipad from this time last year. That letter was to congratulate you for the strength of your pickle jars, and this one is for something similar in that I will praise your fine internet service.

After we decided not to give any more of our money to the nasty Mr. Murdoch, we decided to switch from Sky to Virgin Media for our telephone, television and broadband. We knew you provided internet over fibre-optic cable to my house because your company was kindly sending me approximately two letters a week to inform me (On a related note I'm glad that now we've switched to Virgin Media we only get one such letter a week. Which tends to arrive at the same time as a letter from Sky begging us to come back. Oh, how we smile).

The telephone line is as it was before, I.e. barely used, and the television is impressive. However, where you really shine is in the quality of your broadband - Allow me to elaborate.

I'm sure you'll agree with me that in the 21st century we humans, as a species, are overloaded with information. A regular Internet user has so many usernames and passwords it's sometimes difficult to keep track of them all - so I'd like to offer you my personal thanks in as much as that every fortnight or so my router suddenly resets to all its factory defaults. This means that the SSID resets to what it was in the first instance and I can now find the username ("admin") and password ("changeme") handily written on the back of the modem. I need forget my personal details no more - and it makes logging onto my router an absolute doddle for any internet starved passers-by - and for that you have my thanks. If any of your employees are reading this, they're welcome to use my internet - constant emails tell me that you'll be doubling my internet speed in March April May June July August September October, so I'll have loads to spare.

If this wasn't impressive enough, I'm also especially pleased that every now and then my router just stops transmitting wirelessly altogether and that I have to switch it off and on again - sometimes several times in a single night. You're absolutely correct in your assumption that I have a tendency to be lazy in the evenings, and the exercise in having to wander over to the router to power cycle it is very much appreciated.

A lesser man would want a life of convenience and would want to be rid of this enhanced functionality. However, at Virgin you all know me too well, which is why you refuse to answer the phones when I call to get this sorted out. Keep up the good work, and in turn you'll keep me as a happy healthy mentally alert customer.

All the very best,

David