iPhone users suffer from alarm glitch

iPhone owners lit up the internet on New Years Day, fuming on Twitter and across blogs over the latest glitch in their beloved handhelds, as the device's regular "Listen to me, whoop whoop, I've got a fucking iPhone" alarms failed to go off.

At the stroke of midnight on January 1 2011 all phones briefly fell silent, making it possible for passers-by to confuse them with a lesser mobile phone, according to technology news blog SmuGadget. The glitch seems to primarily affect iPhones operation on iOS 4.0.2, iOS 4.1 and iOS 4.2.1. iPhones with earlier operating systems, namely the cheaper ones that any self respecting gadget owner would have got rid of through Envirofone by now, are not affected.

"We are aware of an issue whereby iPhones haven't been making their typical 'HELLO! HELLO! I'M A FUCKING IPHONE. LOOK AT ME. LOOOOOK AAAAT MEEEEEE' noise. Customers can however reset their devices by hurling them into the nearest fucking lake or wait for the inevitable software patch that will be released January 3", a smug shit from Apple said.

"It was awful", LookAtMyFuckingiPhone said on her blog, "For the last two days without this alarm, a passers by could have confused my iPhone for a cheaper type of model, like a HTC Desire or a Samsung Galaxy. I don't pay over the odds for this phone for somebody to think I've got some piece of shit with exactly the same functionality that doesn't look quite as shiny".

The issue is similiar to a glitch on the iPad identified early in October when for five whole days the iPad found itself incapable of shining a huge light into the sky (much like the bat signal) which read "Look at me. I've got a fucking iPad."