"What are you worried about?", I hear you ask. "What can one bear do from the comfort of his oversized armchair?".
"Aha", I say to you, "This is but the first phase of a plan more sinister than you can possibly imagine, unless of course you have a really powerful imagination. If only they were confined we would be safe, but now they're in our hotels."
"Fair play", you say, "I can see that at first what I thought was a vaguely comical post about a recent coincedental trend in advertising is much more than that, and I thank you for making me aware. But surely, if I avoid hotels I will be safe?"
I wish that were the case, I truly do. But the sinister next step towards their UrsiNation has already begun in earnest. Phase 3 is here already, readers, and I fear it hastens the end times. I realise I'm beginning to sound like Kevin McCarthy running down the street at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but I feel I must warn somebody before it is too late.
THEY ARE IN OUR HOMES.
Pooh and Paddington lie interned within the razor-wire walls of a concentration camp, their spirits broken. Yogi has become turncoat, betraying his own species by working for the Ursine Secret Police. The Hoffmeister Bear was amongst the first to be excuted - his sole crime? Being labelled a race traitor. The Hair Bear Bunch, Booboo and Teddy Ruxpin are still at large, believed to be involved in the formation of an underground resistance movement ("Bear Force 1"), but there are widely spoken rumours of their imminent capture.
It's not too late to make a stand. Open your eyes, Sheeple, and let's make a stand against our would-be-Ursine overlords before it's too late. I write this in the hope that there are other likeminded individuals who realise how far this has gone, and that as mankind we must make a -
What's that smell? Is that honey? I'll have to -
There is no bear revolution. I made it all up. About your business - as you were. I'm no smarter than the average blogger.