You can often tell a societies class from the stuff it throws out. In the exciting town of Lutterworth (where I'm forced to work - I don't come here through choice. Frank Whittle only invented the Jet Engine here so he could get away from it even quicker) we're blessed with a mighty two supermarkets. Richard Hammonds favourite one (even though the carpark isn't big enough for him to reach escape velocity), Morrisons and a newly built Waitrose (which, oddly enough, used to be an Aldi. Talk about polishing a turd).
Now I don't know how many of you have witnessed the delights of a Waitrose before, but in Lutterworth (the most unlikeliest place for one to be built) it seems completely out of place; Like Gary Glitter at a School assembly or Nick Griffin at a Kabaddi tournament. Unlike Morrisons you can't simply pop into there and buy a Cheese and Onion sandwich for your lunch - you have to buy oak smoked traditionally aged cheddar with organically grown Vidalia Onion with mustard mayonnaise on a hand-cut rustic loaf. For the best part of a weeks wages.
My point? There is one somewhere, relating to my opening statement. Morrisons has a recycling point - one container for bottles, one for cans and another for paper. Waitrose has three as well; One for recycled energy saving lightbulbs, another for used printer cartridges and one for discarded Pâté containers.
Actually, that last one is a lie. It's for used water filter cartridges.
"Jocasta, we simply have to get to Waitrose today. I simply can't get to the Aga due to our main kitchen being full of used water filter cartridges."
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