I've just caught the opening credits for that glorious show containing everybodies favourite eighties reject should-be-playing-the-saxaphone-in-lost-boys mercenary "Dog the Bounty Hunter".
If you've never caught this show, it really is quite remarkable. Dog and his terrifyingly large breasted wife hunt down and capture ethnic minorities (Puerto Ricans or Mexicans, mostly) who have skipped bail. Dog himself looks like Chuck Norris with shitter hair and his redneck family of retards don't need to arm themselves with guns because they're protected by Magic Jesus forcefields, or something. They protect themselves solely with prayer and through being American, although in one of them Dog may well have whipped the halo off his head and threw it at a criminal like the Glaive from Krull in order to incapacitate him. I might have dreamed that last bit.
The best thing about the show? In the opening credits it reminds us that Dog is a professional and that in the NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY Do not try this at home.
A what now? "Do not try this at home?" Is this show genuinely telling me that I shouldn't carry out bounty hunting activities within my own property? I have six bail-skipping Hispanics hiding out behind my sofa eating me out of house, home, tequila and green shield stamps and there's nothing I can do about it? Wankers.
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