Being the legal upstanding citzen I am, when I ordered my copy of Watchmen on Blu-ray I decided to spend a couple of quid more to get something Paramount Films are pushing at the moment - a legal digital copy of it on a seperate DVD, the intention being to bung it on my ipod.
The inlay came with a little sheet of paper with a unique code. I dutifully inserted the DVD into my PC and typed in the code when prompted. I was asked whether I wished to transfer the file to itunes or Media Player, and I made my choice, clicked 'Transfer Now' and then -
my PC crashed.
"No worries", I thought, "I'll try again". But oh no, Paramount are wise to my little piracy games. Of course I must be trying to download it a second time so I can distribute it to all my friends, terrorist cells and Blackbeard the fucking Pirate King.
"You have exceeded the maximum number of transfers for this digital copy".
"No worries", I thought (again), "I'll just click on this helpful link and bring this little issue to the attention of the lovely people at Paramount". I followed various links until I was prompted to type my problem in a thoughtfully provided little box. I clicked 'Send' and waited. And waited.After two days of no reply, I tried again. My wording may have been a little more aggressive this time, and I may have mentioned I'd already logged this problem with them once.
That was 3 weeks ago. Having read some FAQ files lurking around their site I have to let them know in writing why my transfer failed - that appears to be in the form of actually writing them a letter, my email won't suffice. Of course they haven't sent me an email to tell me this - in fact it's all been very quiet in my inbox on the Paramount front. So, what I thought was a great idea at preventing piracy has had exactly the opposite effect that Paramount would want - I'm tempted to torrent the fucking thing just so I can watch it on a handheld device.
Good work, Paramount.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
New! Pens! Now with ink!
In the advertisement break in the middle of yesterday evenings "You have been Watching" there was an advertisement for Oxford notebooks. Astonishingly, I'm amazed that they hid this groundbreaking ad away at such a late time in the schedules, such was the level of scientific breakthrough demonstrated in it - with such a bold and daring claim at the end which could revolutionise the face of notebooks as we know it.
Notebooks, yeah? Really useful for all sorts of things in life, such as making notes, making more notes and potentially making even more notes than that. Notes on all kinds of things; Mundane notes about Toms telephone number, exciting and even world-changing notes about scientific formulae, inventions, cheat codes for Far Cry 2 and award winning speeches.
But the curse that has gripped the notebook from the beginning of time? The fact that an entire half of it is wasted - If only there were some way, some paradigm shifting concept, that could enable we humble species to write on both sides of the paper.
Well, do you know what? The crafty blighters at Oxford have only gone and done it, and apparently in secrecy as well! Did you see the BBC news articles about this revolutionary new idea? Me neither. It must have been buried in the press with all the news about CERN.
I'm off to order 4. I'm hoping not many of my friends saw the advert, so I'll be the talk of my circle of associates. "Both Sides of the notebook Dave", they'll call me. I'll be lauded as some kind of king. I'll run amongst them, wantonly ripping out sheets and dispensing them to the desperate masses.
Now if only somebody would invent a bag for these Maltesers so the shopkeeper doesn't have to pour them into my fucking hand, I'll be sorted. Oi, Boffins. Get on it.
Notebooks, yeah? Really useful for all sorts of things in life, such as making notes, making more notes and potentially making even more notes than that. Notes on all kinds of things; Mundane notes about Toms telephone number, exciting and even world-changing notes about scientific formulae, inventions, cheat codes for Far Cry 2 and award winning speeches.
But the curse that has gripped the notebook from the beginning of time? The fact that an entire half of it is wasted - If only there were some way, some paradigm shifting concept, that could enable we humble species to write on both sides of the paper.
Well, do you know what? The crafty blighters at Oxford have only gone and done it, and apparently in secrecy as well! Did you see the BBC news articles about this revolutionary new idea? Me neither. It must have been buried in the press with all the news about CERN.
I'm off to order 4. I'm hoping not many of my friends saw the advert, so I'll be the talk of my circle of associates. "Both Sides of the notebook Dave", they'll call me. I'll be lauded as some kind of king. I'll run amongst them, wantonly ripping out sheets and dispensing them to the desperate masses.
Now if only somebody would invent a bag for these Maltesers so the shopkeeper doesn't have to pour them into my fucking hand, I'll be sorted. Oi, Boffins. Get on it.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I love Batman.
There it is, it's in the room. I love Batman. If you asked me who my favourite superhero was of all time, I'd have to save it is most definitely the Caped Crusader. Of course though, before I answered, I'd in fact correct you that strictly speaking he isn't a superhero at all because he doesn't possess super-powers. I'd probably argue this at such length that you'd threaten to hit me, I'd keep banging on, you would hit me, we'd fall out and wouldn't speak for ages and it would just be awful. Lets never fight. It was silly. Honestly, I've forgotten what we were even fighting about now.To this end I'm quite excited about the forthcoming video game Batman: Arkham Asylum (although to be quite honesty I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl about quite a lot of the releases over the next couple of months - Halo ODST, Beatles Rock Band and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2). I found that the demo of it was available on Sunday and dutifully downloaded it.
The premise is nothing new; Batman ends up a prisoner in the titular Asylum after bringing the Joker in yet again, and the madmen have clearly taken over this particular madhouse. It's a mixture of stealth and combat wrapped up in a lovely Unreal powered shell.
It's great. The voice cast from the Animated Series reprise their roles - (I still think Mark Hamill portrays one of the best Jokers that there has been ever been on the screen; Way better than the frankly overrated Jack Nicholson performance from the Tim Burton film - and Kevin Conroy, voice of Bats, almost outgruffs Christian Bale) - and best of all, it looks absolutely stunning. The combat feels spot-on - simple in execution, but it really gives the impression that Batman is one powerful guy - each punch and kick comes with a genuine weight behind it and he makes it look effortless. The first half of the demo seems to be standard scene-setting with a couple of fights and a simple puzzle to solve.
The latter half, however, is where it comes into its own. You're left in a large arena with several armed thugs, none of whom know where you are. It's a maze of rooms and platforms and they are truly at your mercy. Batman is far from invulnerable - a couple of good gun shots can take him out easily, but you have the darkness on your side. Swooping in and knocking a thug out and hiding above another one and dragging him up into the darkness, it's all tense stuff. A toggled "Detective mode" allows you to highlight points of interest and also gives Bats X-ray vision - you know where all the bad guys are, but after a few of them have been dispatched they begin to panic - shooting blindly at anything that moves, even each other - whilst all the time you can see their heart rates via the Detective mode showing that they're terrified. All proper comic book stuff.
I'm hoping that the full game (released 28th of August - think I'll be booking the day off) is as good - but based on the demo, it looks like it's going to be awesome.
Which is good, because I love Batman. I hope this small review gave that impression.
The premise is nothing new; Batman ends up a prisoner in the titular Asylum after bringing the Joker in yet again, and the madmen have clearly taken over this particular madhouse. It's a mixture of stealth and combat wrapped up in a lovely Unreal powered shell.
It's great. The voice cast from the Animated Series reprise their roles - (I still think Mark Hamill portrays one of the best Jokers that there has been ever been on the screen; Way better than the frankly overrated Jack Nicholson performance from the Tim Burton film - and Kevin Conroy, voice of Bats, almost outgruffs Christian Bale) - and best of all, it looks absolutely stunning. The combat feels spot-on - simple in execution, but it really gives the impression that Batman is one powerful guy - each punch and kick comes with a genuine weight behind it and he makes it look effortless. The first half of the demo seems to be standard scene-setting with a couple of fights and a simple puzzle to solve.
The latter half, however, is where it comes into its own. You're left in a large arena with several armed thugs, none of whom know where you are. It's a maze of rooms and platforms and they are truly at your mercy. Batman is far from invulnerable - a couple of good gun shots can take him out easily, but you have the darkness on your side. Swooping in and knocking a thug out and hiding above another one and dragging him up into the darkness, it's all tense stuff. A toggled "Detective mode" allows you to highlight points of interest and also gives Bats X-ray vision - you know where all the bad guys are, but after a few of them have been dispatched they begin to panic - shooting blindly at anything that moves, even each other - whilst all the time you can see their heart rates via the Detective mode showing that they're terrified. All proper comic book stuff.
I'm hoping that the full game (released 28th of August - think I'll be booking the day off) is as good - but based on the demo, it looks like it's going to be awesome.
Which is good, because I love Batman. I hope this small review gave that impression.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Dear The Prodigy,
We note with interest your recent comments in the press. Here at the Mercury Music Prize nominations board, we couldn't help but read them as "Boo hoo hoo we didn't get nominated boo hoo it's not fair *sniffle* boo hoo". We all dearly hope that when you made these comments you were looking at the floor looking dejected whilst scuffing your shoes and avoiding eye contact.
You're noted as saying "the Mercury Prize should make more effort to include dance music in its shortlist because that's the type of music that stirs up the emotion" - We ask the honourable gentlemen to refer to your two previous (failed, no hard feelings, ho ho ho) nominations in 1994 and 1997 respectively, and previous nominations for Underworld, The Chemical Brothers, Talvin Singh, Faithless, Leftfield, Basement Jaxx and many other acts that could be categorized as dance music. We believe, and feel free to correct us if we're wrong, that what you meant to say was "the Mercury Prize should make more effort to include our new album "Invaders must die" in its shortlist because we'd really like to win a Mercury Music Prize".
We at the Mercury Board did consider your new album for the briefest of periods - although the general concensus was that we'd all heard the Prodigy Experience back in 1992 and didn't see the point in giving a nomination for what, to all intents and purpose, is the same album.
Yours sincerely,
The Mercury Music Prize
You're noted as saying "the Mercury Prize should make more effort to include dance music in its shortlist because that's the type of music that stirs up the emotion" - We ask the honourable gentlemen to refer to your two previous (failed, no hard feelings, ho ho ho) nominations in 1994 and 1997 respectively, and previous nominations for Underworld, The Chemical Brothers, Talvin Singh, Faithless, Leftfield, Basement Jaxx and many other acts that could be categorized as dance music. We believe, and feel free to correct us if we're wrong, that what you meant to say was "the Mercury Prize should make more effort to include our new album "Invaders must die" in its shortlist because we'd really like to win a Mercury Music Prize".
We at the Mercury Board did consider your new album for the briefest of periods - although the general concensus was that we'd all heard the Prodigy Experience back in 1992 and didn't see the point in giving a nomination for what, to all intents and purpose, is the same album.
Yours sincerely,
The Mercury Music Prize
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