Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The whole tooth and nothing but the tooth
Those of you who know or have met me, you can't have helped but noticed that I have terrible teeth. Too many years of neglect coupled with sugary drinks have left my mouth looking a little like Boot Hill, only with considerably less dead cowboys.
It had gotten to the stage where I was terrified to go to the dentist. Not because I'm bothered by dental work (I'm no stranger to it having to have undergone many years of it in the past due to earlier dental problems) but solely through shame. Despite the sensible part of me knowing that dentists are just doing their jobs, another part of me didn't want to face the embarassment of having to sit there, open my mouth and present this grisly scene to them. I could be the poster boy for poor oral care.
Ultimate kudos to the girlfriend then for booking me an appointment at the dentist some three months back. She did exactly the right thing - she'd had too long of asking me to do so, me saying "Yeah" and then never bothering to do anything about it (and in all honesty, this utter shame meant I never would have).
Do you know what? They were great. The female dentist was understanding and made me feel completely at ease. They explained what they were going to do and that the problem in the sarlaac pit lurking in my mouth could actually be corrected.
They did the small stuff first; the odd filling here, a bit of root canal work. Painful, but it felt like something was getting done. They took impressions of my mouth ready for the big stuff - some crowns - and I was fitted with a temporary crown which was supposed to be in for one week before the permanent one would be ready from the lab.
And then it all went a bit wrong. The week after, the new permanent didn't fit, so they recemented the temporary - the old cement had only lasted two days. For one reason or another (another poor fit, dentist getting the norovirus) this temporary ended up being in for five weeks. Well, I say five weeks but each Friday visit to the dentist involved them having to recement it - the cement never lasted long and I'd have to carry a tube of poligrip around with me to have to recement it myself and stick it back into the hole.
Eating was a nightmare. Every mouthful of food would be accompanied by the fear that the temporary had dislodged, and more often than not it had. I'd read horror stories online about people who had swallowed their crowns - the biggest worry was that if I'd lost it my mouth would change shape again and the permanent would be delayed.
Then the glorious event. The permanent crown was a good fit and was cemented in, hopefully never to leave my mouth - and to their credit, one week down the line and it's still fine. The cementing of the teeth was accompanied by two extractions to prepare my mouth for a dental plate - I don't have to go back to the dentists for six months now while my gum heals and reshapes ready for the moulding.
Last Friday, Saturday and Sunday - fine. On Monday though the pain starts - first a gentle throbbing which I put down to the fact that the dentist nearly ripped my head off to remove the two teeth. It gets worse. Monday evening I get about two hours sleep because of the pain, Tuesday night in the same. Wednesday I realise I can't take any more and go to the Walk In Centre because I suspect I have a post-extration infection which they agree with - I'm dosed up on amoxicillin (a broad spectrum antibiotic) and I'm happy that this will sort it.
But it doesn't. A day passes with the same amount of pain, and another. Yesterday morning (Friday) I woke up in such overwhelming agony I find myself delirious with pain, punching myself in the head and I'm crying through it all. Utter hell.
Looking online for a solution, I suspect the issue is dry socket. (science bit; it's where the clot after extraction falls out and you're left with dry bone in the place of the extraction so it's painful to heal) - loads of people (Americans, mostly. Damn helpful lot at times) are banging on about how helpful clove oil is so at work I pop out to the chemists and try it - a cotton bud dipped in clove oil applied directly to both of the sockets.
The pain goes - instantly. It's now 24 hours later and other than having to dab the clove oil on twice yesterday, the pain is stil absent. I'm feeling a lot better - I'm able to concentrate on things other than the incredible pain and actually feel like it might heal and my mouth might finally get sorted.
I'm aware that this post isn't funny or witty in any regards - It's just something thats quite overwhelming in my life at the moment and thought it would be useful to write down - Sorry to put you through all that!
It had gotten to the stage where I was terrified to go to the dentist. Not because I'm bothered by dental work (I'm no stranger to it having to have undergone many years of it in the past due to earlier dental problems) but solely through shame. Despite the sensible part of me knowing that dentists are just doing their jobs, another part of me didn't want to face the embarassment of having to sit there, open my mouth and present this grisly scene to them. I could be the poster boy for poor oral care.
Ultimate kudos to the girlfriend then for booking me an appointment at the dentist some three months back. She did exactly the right thing - she'd had too long of asking me to do so, me saying "Yeah" and then never bothering to do anything about it (and in all honesty, this utter shame meant I never would have).
Do you know what? They were great. The female dentist was understanding and made me feel completely at ease. They explained what they were going to do and that the problem in the sarlaac pit lurking in my mouth could actually be corrected.
They did the small stuff first; the odd filling here, a bit of root canal work. Painful, but it felt like something was getting done. They took impressions of my mouth ready for the big stuff - some crowns - and I was fitted with a temporary crown which was supposed to be in for one week before the permanent one would be ready from the lab.
And then it all went a bit wrong. The week after, the new permanent didn't fit, so they recemented the temporary - the old cement had only lasted two days. For one reason or another (another poor fit, dentist getting the norovirus) this temporary ended up being in for five weeks. Well, I say five weeks but each Friday visit to the dentist involved them having to recement it - the cement never lasted long and I'd have to carry a tube of poligrip around with me to have to recement it myself and stick it back into the hole.
Eating was a nightmare. Every mouthful of food would be accompanied by the fear that the temporary had dislodged, and more often than not it had. I'd read horror stories online about people who had swallowed their crowns - the biggest worry was that if I'd lost it my mouth would change shape again and the permanent would be delayed.
Then the glorious event. The permanent crown was a good fit and was cemented in, hopefully never to leave my mouth - and to their credit, one week down the line and it's still fine. The cementing of the teeth was accompanied by two extractions to prepare my mouth for a dental plate - I don't have to go back to the dentists for six months now while my gum heals and reshapes ready for the moulding.
Last Friday, Saturday and Sunday - fine. On Monday though the pain starts - first a gentle throbbing which I put down to the fact that the dentist nearly ripped my head off to remove the two teeth. It gets worse. Monday evening I get about two hours sleep because of the pain, Tuesday night in the same. Wednesday I realise I can't take any more and go to the Walk In Centre because I suspect I have a post-extration infection which they agree with - I'm dosed up on amoxicillin (a broad spectrum antibiotic) and I'm happy that this will sort it.
But it doesn't. A day passes with the same amount of pain, and another. Yesterday morning (Friday) I woke up in such overwhelming agony I find myself delirious with pain, punching myself in the head and I'm crying through it all. Utter hell.
Looking online for a solution, I suspect the issue is dry socket. (science bit; it's where the clot after extraction falls out and you're left with dry bone in the place of the extraction so it's painful to heal) - loads of people (Americans, mostly. Damn helpful lot at times) are banging on about how helpful clove oil is so at work I pop out to the chemists and try it - a cotton bud dipped in clove oil applied directly to both of the sockets.
The pain goes - instantly. It's now 24 hours later and other than having to dab the clove oil on twice yesterday, the pain is stil absent. I'm feeling a lot better - I'm able to concentrate on things other than the incredible pain and actually feel like it might heal and my mouth might finally get sorted.
I'm aware that this post isn't funny or witty in any regards - It's just something thats quite overwhelming in my life at the moment and thought it would be useful to write down - Sorry to put you through all that!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Thought you should be aware of the following
Emails with pictures of your mum are being sent and the moment you open these emails somebody prods a kitten with a sharp stick.
If you get an email along the lines of ‘Please open this attachment’ or ‘Pretty please open this attachment’ DO NOT OPEN THE ATTACHMENT. Unless you really want to.
This e-mail is being distributed through countries around the globe. Be considerate and send this warning to all those you know, especially people you don’t like.
You should be alert during the following days. Do not open any message with an attached file called 'Picture of a puppy’ regardless of who sent it, even if its your mum. This attachment will open up a picture of a puppy and distract you from work.
This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is why you should send this e-mail to all your contacts.
In fact why not just send it to everybody you know. Even people you don’t know might benefit from the information. Send it three times to each of them just to be sure.
If you receive a mail called 'Invitation', even though it is sent by a friend, do not open it, but shut down your computer immediately and evacuate the building and get your colleagues to do the same. This virus will destroy your office building and erase anybody in it from history.
This is the worst virus announced by John Cravens Newsround. It has been classified by Microsoft as frankly daft.
This virus was discovered by Mr McGee whilst searching for The Hulk and at present there is no repair for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys reality.
If you get an email along the lines of ‘Please open this attachment’ or ‘Pretty please open this attachment’ DO NOT OPEN THE ATTACHMENT. Unless you really want to.
This e-mail is being distributed through countries around the globe. Be considerate and send this warning to all those you know, especially people you don’t like.
You should be alert during the following days. Do not open any message with an attached file called 'Picture of a puppy’ regardless of who sent it, even if its your mum. This attachment will open up a picture of a puppy and distract you from work.
This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is why you should send this e-mail to all your contacts.
In fact why not just send it to everybody you know. Even people you don’t know might benefit from the information. Send it three times to each of them just to be sure.
If you receive a mail called 'Invitation', even though it is sent by a friend, do not open it, but shut down your computer immediately and evacuate the building and get your colleagues to do the same. This virus will destroy your office building and erase anybody in it from history.
This is the worst virus announced by John Cravens Newsround. It has been classified by Microsoft as frankly daft.
This virus was discovered by Mr McGee whilst searching for The Hulk and at present there is no repair for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys reality.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Up, down, left, select, left, left, start.
An admission - I've opened some post that wasn't meant for me. It was for my address but I didn't recognise the name - it definitely wasn't the previous owners of the house, but the package seemed so tempting (and bulky) I really couldn't resist. Where's the guilt? I wouldn't know where to start looking for its intended recipient.
It was a softback book, a couple of hundred pages thick and just over A4 sized. Distinctive and brightly coloured like one of those computer game guides you see on the shelves of "Game". Loads of colour photographs on the back (oddly familiar ones though) and the legend "Your Life: A Strategy Guide".
I couldn't resist looking through at least the opening chapters. At first it bothered me how much content I've actually missed - It seems like I spent a lot of time rushing through it just playing it for the sake of it - but then slightly relieved to find that I hadn't done too badly so far. I'd beaten the odd illness here, the odd life-threatening thing there, avoiding walking out in front of that car here, etc.
What's worrying is that I've checked it to see how far I've got. I was at first relieved to find I'm less than halfway through it, but then slightly unnerved to find that a lot of the back of it just seems to be appendix (maps and photographs and the like) and no more actual guide.
At this stage the cheat codes look tempting.
Get to fuck is universal balance restored
I get to work from home a fair bit so am kept entertained by the daily televisual output provided for students and the unemployed. Amongst the adverts for stairlifts (which are the only ones that provide any interest, due to the fact one would be damned handy) are the standard assortment of adverts for those "had three accidents? Why not consolidate all your accidents into one easy-to-manage accident" sharks.
This one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2jNLwg_C4Y) caught my eye more than many and is evidence of an increasing trend of these adverts to make you think that claiming will in some way help the world. No longer is it sufficient to sue people just for personal gain but now you can ease your conscience safe in the knowledge that you've made the world that little bit better.
"Yeah, I sued that driver for fifteen grand but thats beside the point. They've moved the crossing so the lives of countless kiddywinks have been saved."
"Yeah, I sued my employer for twenty grand but thats not why I did it. Despite the fact I fell over because of this fucking stupid fringe I have, they've now moved the paper bin and put a big fuck off neon sign on it."
..which leads me to the youtube link provided for your convenience above. Now by claiming for what is rightfully yours, you are bringing order to the universe. Chaos and disorder be damned - you getting money in your pocket at somebody elses expense is now the cosmically right thing to do.
Your place in Heaven is assured...and who is advertising it? Billy Murray, well known for playing a gangster on Eastenders. At least that part of the advertising is accurate, at least.
For those of you with a short attention span, I'm consolidating all the words in the above thread into a single easy-to-manage affordable word which is this; Wankers. You won't have to pay a penny to read that word and you are guaranteed every penny of compensation.
This one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2jNLwg_C4Y) caught my eye more than many and is evidence of an increasing trend of these adverts to make you think that claiming will in some way help the world. No longer is it sufficient to sue people just for personal gain but now you can ease your conscience safe in the knowledge that you've made the world that little bit better.
"Yeah, I sued that driver for fifteen grand but thats beside the point. They've moved the crossing so the lives of countless kiddywinks have been saved."
"Yeah, I sued my employer for twenty grand but thats not why I did it. Despite the fact I fell over because of this fucking stupid fringe I have, they've now moved the paper bin and put a big fuck off neon sign on it."
..which leads me to the youtube link provided for your convenience above. Now by claiming for what is rightfully yours, you are bringing order to the universe. Chaos and disorder be damned - you getting money in your pocket at somebody elses expense is now the cosmically right thing to do.
Your place in Heaven is assured...and who is advertising it? Billy Murray, well known for playing a gangster on Eastenders. At least that part of the advertising is accurate, at least.
For those of you with a short attention span, I'm consolidating all the words in the above thread into a single easy-to-manage affordable word which is this; Wankers. You won't have to pay a penny to read that word and you are guaranteed every penny of compensation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)